


Avengers Stop Alien Invasion

by PeachesThePuca



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachesThePuca/pseuds/PeachesThePuca
Summary: Some days, it just doesn't work out for Peter Parker or Spiderman.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Avengers Stop Alien Invasion

His pen scribbled like a Richer Scale across the page as his head began flashing. By the time the rumble became audible to human ears, Spiderman was swinging out of an apartment complex. Shards of glass, chunks of stone and countless fragments of steel were raining down onto the streets from a once pristine, official looking building.

“Pew, Pew, Pew.” The sound effects traveled with the webbing to form a protective netting over the streets; just in the nick of time for Iron Man to come blasting by. Stopping long enough to vaporize all of the debris, along with some weird looking blue alien guy on what looked like a speeder from Star Wars, he blasted off again. “Hey! Hey that was Iron Man! Spidey, move it, you’re blocking the view of a real superhero in action.” Peter knew that voice. It was the hot dog guy from 8th street. Peter Parker had sunk probably over $100 a month into that stupid guy’s cart. “What do you think this is? My portable bouncy house?” Peter replied, pointing to the empty net. “I calls that messy. Iron Man don’t need no clean-up crew.” The crowd cheered. _There’s always a crowd when things don’t go according to plan, but was there one last week when I saved the mayor or one when I defeated the Green Goblin… again?? Nope of course not._

Spiderman shook his head and swung off. The damage was terrible. Hundreds of flying blue guys were buzzing around, all of them coming from the direction of…“What the hell???” Peter gasped and landed on a nearby rooftop to steady himself. A black hole was pouring the creatures out over Stark Tower. No, not a black hole, black holes sucked stuff in and condensed it to microscopic form etc., but maybe…some sort of gateway? Peter’s eyes followed the beam of light to the top of Stark Tower, a focal point for the portal? BOOOM! The sky darkened over the portal and thunder rolled in. A few seconds later, lightning crackled down on the spire of Stark Tower and then shot back up into the sky, directly at the hole. “Well, I guess Thor’s here too. Thor, Iron Man...Holy crap...Cap and the Avengers must be here! And I don’t have my camera.” Peter muttered in disappointment, brightening up as another thought crossed his mind. “This could be my chance! To finally impress Captain America and become an Avenger!” Leaping off the roof, he headed into the madness ahead.

Not even two blocks away from his roof of Clarity, his Spidey Senses went absolutely haywire. Peter cut the web he was swinging with and dropped a few stories before clinging to the side of a window. “HROOOWGH” The Hulk blew out of the building a few stories higher and landed onto the back of a terrifyingly large, flying whale shark thing and began pummeling it incessantly until they were out of sight. Peter’s mouth was hanging open with shock. “Ho-Holy shit what was that thing?? And I almost got Hulk smashed! Which would have definitely sucked, but also woulda been kinda cool.” As he was hanging, collecting his thoughts and double checking that his uniform was still clean, another speeder rocketed past. Peter frowned, noticing something odd about the driver. _That guy wasn’t blue._ Hopping off to pursue, he strained to keep up.

Slowly but surely, the distance was lessening and more details were beginning to emerge. Gold helmet, greenish clothes and human looking. The mystery driver seemed vaguely familiar, as if Peter had read or heard about him before. When Peter was close enough to make out the face, particularly the unsettling grin, all of the pieces were assembled revealing…“Loki!”

_He must be behind this. If I take him down, maybe his alien soldier army will stop attacking._ “Why no reward is needed Captain, just doing my job as a superhero American to defend the city and Earth. No, Mr. Stark, I cannot accept that large monetary offering but if you ever need another pair of hands, or eight, Spiderman would gladly lend his support.” Peter talked to himself as he figured out the speed, weight and velocity of the shot he needed to take.

A chain of events then happened so fast, most would not have seen or been able to react to: a black blur zipped towards Loki, which he appeared to catch, a condescending look bloomed on his face before the entire speeder, erupted in a massive explosion. Fire and shrapnel flung in all directions, leaving Peter little time to act. Left hand shooting out a web to be used as an anchor, right hand firing rapidly, preventing anything from striking innocents below. Two more speeders zoomed around and began shooting at him. Unlike his jest, he did not have eight hands. Avoiding beam after beam, Peter tried to make it on the ground to escape when he was unable to twist enough and caught a laser across his side. Losing his grip, he fell down to earth, bouncing off a car before settling on the sidewalk. Groaning and wincing in pain, he crawled into an alley and took a look at the damage he received. Luckily for him, it had missed his chest and stomach while also cauterizing the wound as it happened. Unluckily however, his entire back got hit in various degrees of seriousness, preventing Peter from lifting his arms without throwing up in agony. “Okay, maybe they can clean up their own mess without me for the moment.” Peter mumbled. After what felt like hours, hiding from both Avenger and enemy alike, Peter finally made it back home. He took a few painkillers and flopped on the bed, sighing into the sheets. Fumbling for his iPod. he turned up the volume and jammed the earphones in. Spiderman was clocking out for the day.

“…on, it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you. Giddy-up Giddy-up Giddy-up Let’s…” Peter yanked the earbuds out and rolled over, yelping in pain as his back reminded him of the disaster before. Rubbing his face, he blinked several times to clear the fog from his eyes and stood up in a flash as he saw the time. “No! no, no, no.” He exclaimed hallway through the door before he realized he was still Spiderman and disgusting. He stripped down, wiped himself off with a wet facecloth, sprayed some deodorant liberally, threw the first clean clothes he found and jammed a handful of mints in his mouth as he booked it out the door.

Passing 8th street, and that traitorous bastard, Peter stopped short as he saw the empty coffee shop on 10th. She wasn’t there. He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, kicking a nearby trashcan. Spitting out the remainder of the mints, a headline caught his eye in the barrel. Front and center on the Daily Bugle:

**AVENGERS STOP ALIEN INVASION**

Spiderman nowhere to be found. Was he the leader of this coincidental attack on a city he supposedly defends? A look at his criminal masquerade as a ‘hero’ continued on page 10

“I give up.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through some files on an old computer and found this piece. I wrote it years ago for an application to play "Peter Parker/Spiderman" in an rp group and was convinced to post it here!


End file.
